Look, folks, when it concerns the problems facing the US Social Security system, somebody’s gonna have to bend over, lube up, and take it. That’s right, somebody’s gonna get screwed and it isn’t likely to be a pleasant experience. I don’t care if you accept Bushy’s plan, Dick’s plan, Gore’s plan, Ah-nold’s plan, or Martha Stewart’s plan for your retirement Dollars-At-Work(tm), someone will get the shaft.
Personally, I think my particular generation will get the reaming and to be completely honest, who better? Ok, maybe my children, really. But I’m willing to take one for the Gipper provided that they let me know NOW that it’s going to be an issue. Oh wait…do I need more of an indication?
See, my grandparents don’t need SS to be reduced for them — they’re getting squat already. It’s enough to live, but not by much. So they can’t reasonably be shafted without a whole lot of money behind welfare and, well…welfare ain’t got it either. My fore[fa|mo]thers were told that they’d be secure and stable in their retirement thanks to Unky Sam who had a piggy bank with their name on it. So they didn’t bother to do more than work hard, earn a good living, and pop out a few kids. No IRAs or other funds unless you had money dripping off your fingers and nobody really thought too much about mutual funds or so forth. Sure, you might have a trust here or a few bonds if you felt patriotic on a particular Thursday, but not REALLY.
Fast forward to my parents’ generation. Significantly better off but still relying a bunch on the gov’ment to kick in its fair share. They’re a bit more alert to the financial situation and have had a few more warnings as to the depravity of the economy, so they’re going to be better off in retirement than their parents. But still, it’s getting later in their lives, they don’t have a ton more working years ahead of them to build up anything huge, so they’re likely going to get a bit of the federal pole, too.
My generation, however, hath not the wool over our eyes…or at least, we sure as hell shouldn’t. The economy is in the shitter and even the emus in the dusty bush of Australia can hear the sound of the flush. SS is in tatters or is at least shaky enough that nobody with any sane sense of self-worth is putting any sort of reliance on it. I look at SS like I look at my penny jar — a novel way to save money but not a really good way of doing so. Cute, but ineffective, like “Hello Kitty” vibrators.
Hence, I’ve started things as quick as I could to get some sort of nest egg brewing before I blow too many earning years to the wind. So much for my youth and innocence as I hear it whizzing by on the next train out of town, but these times call for the young adults, fresh from their expensive schooling and realignment of ideals, to throw themselves heedlessly into the writhing mass of capitalist vultures and attempt to make off with a piece of the meat big enough to hold down a flat in suburbia.
Along the way (whilst we’re being raped in the first place, dontcha know), we have clearly learned that our retirement — our Happy Golden Yearsâ„¢ — are being sold at auction to the highest bidder and the lead bid is a guy with a hairy belly and a cigar the size of Ron Jeremy’s famous member. No longer content with just letting people live carefree, retirement is now just an extension of the toy-race of adult working life.
IRAs, whole life, mutual funds, bonds, trusts, CDs, savings accounts (ha!) and other investments greedly suck at the chapped nipples of our paychecks while growing at a rate equal to the anorexic nature of the economy. This is to say nothing else of the other three dozen requirements of our income — and let’s not get into healthcare (you don’t have the electrons free for it, trust me.) The outlook is indeed rosy.
But really…all in all, we’ve had a decent warning about the trials of the elderly and their shrinking funds early enough to really do something about it, so it’s more than likely our generation will get the proverbial shaft in the entire deal. Or our children, but by that time the system will be in such rags that it’s unlikely they’ll even look upon it with any more respect than a coupon for a buy-one-get-one-free sundae at the local SludgyMart. Saving for their retirement won’t be an optional thing, it’ll be damned near mandatory. “Here’s your shovel, here’s your IRA, here’s your meal chit…”
So…if you’re about 20-something and haven’t thought about your last 20 years of life or so, I highly recommend approaching it from a safe distance and dealing with it promptly. I’m still unsure as to if I’m doing enough or not, but for the moment, I’m at least making my way towards some sort of goal. And that, for the time being, it somewhat comforting.
