The Tell-tale Heart
Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump.
I hate heartbeats.
Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump.
Some people find them comforting. I find them ominous. They fill me with Fear.
Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump.
When the song is over, the rhythm stops. The drummer lays down his sticks, the rat-a-tat ceases. Silence reigns.
Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu——thump thump.
The drum of life. A beat of existence, hammering on, day after day, a marching cadence that must not stop lest it kill the spirit inside. Listening to hearts, whether it be my own or others, has always given me the chills, since one of my darkest fears is to hear it cease.
Everyone knows what that means. Medical shows drill it into our bleeding skulls relentlessly, that tell-tale bleep-bleep-bleep-bleeeeeeeeeeee is enough to make anyone’s sanity drop trou and sprint for the hills. It is the wail of The End. The shriek of Destiny. I cringe every time I can’t avoid it, willing it to stop, to leave me alone, to stop screwing its sharp, diamond sound into my gray matter and reminding me of Inevitability.
I never thought I would ever actually want to hear a heartbeat in my life.
There is one. One, singular,
small
drum in
the worldOne, singular, small drum in the world, almost drowned out by the cacophony of thrumming around it. A little pumphouse working diligently to power a small being –
My Child.
It is a small sound, almost lost in the swish and swoosh and gurgles of its mother’s innards, surrounded by fluid and fibre, but once found, echoes forth its steady, purposeful beating.
ta-tum, ta-tum, ta-tum, ta-tum…
It is comforting to hear. A Joy to behold. A sign that, for now, all is well, life is continuing, the process is going forward. A reassurance that it is keeping up in the drumline of Life. Smiles ripple across my face at the sound.
ta-tum, ta-tum, ta-tum, ta-tum….
I will it, with every ounce of my being, to keep plugging away. Don’t lose the Rhythm, little one. Daddy may hate heartbeats, but yours is Music to my ears.
ta-tum, ta-tum, ta-tum, ta-tum….
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