I’ve Been Maimed
Well, being memed is kinda like being maimed, isn’t it? You suddenly feel obligated to jump through someone else’s hoop. And it’s usually flaming. And not in the hot pants sort of way…well, actually, it is in the ‘hot pants’ sort of way, but we’re talking spandex.
But hey, let’s be realistic. I like Mark and his blog and mine has been rather devoid of content of late so, what the hell, eh? I’ve sold out for less.
These are the all-sacred instructions (woe to those that violate the holy writ):
- Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
- Open the book to page 123.
- Find sentences 5, 6, and 7, and post them.
- Tag five people.
1. So, what qualifies “nearest”, I wonder? For that matter, “book”? I have a notebook computer in reach — does that count? How about my scribble pad that I carry around to look like I’m important and actually give a crap at meetings? I suppose “nearest” needs to be in 3-D space (I would include 4-D, but my ability to reach back and forth in time has been hindered by my lack of temporal anomalies; damn you, Star Trek Voyager). Hrm…up, down, left, right, forward, back….ok, I guess it’ll have to be Beginning PHP and MySQL 5: From Novice to Professional by W. Jason Gilmore. I think the ‘W’ stands for ‘Wilbur’, by the way. Sounds like a fascinating read, doesn’t it? It is. Just as much as you think it is and then some.
2. Gods, exercise this early in the morning? This is a 912-page book! My arm, my beautiful arm! And I have trouble finding my butt in the morning and getting it screwed on straight…how am I supposed to find page 123? Oh, there it is…under the stapler and next to the coffee stain.
3. Considering that this is a programming book, what constitutes a sentence? Something that ends in punctuation, I’d guess. Hrm….this will be a passage to ignite your internal flame, I guarantee (not responsible for any explosion hazards you might have due to gas issues):
Not surprisingly, this function must be made available to the same scope in which usort() is being called. A particularly applicable example of where usort() comes in handy involves the ordering of American-format dates (month-day-year, as opposed to day-month-year ordering used by most other countries). Suppose that you want to sort an array of dates in ascending order: (insert large block of code that nobody gives a crap about and I’m sure as hell not going to retype).
There you have it. Points to those that can actually decipher what the above passage is talking about. Bonus points if you use it in a real-life scenario involving a gazelle and a cheap brassiere.
4. Doesn’t this step require that I have readers? Besides you, Mark. We can’t all be Mr. Popular. If you happen by this and want to give it a shot, I encourage you to knock yourself out, how’s that? Don’t call me if you have hangups.
Remember, this meme brought you by the letter Q, the number C, and my desire to commune with my pillow overwhelming my sense of goodness.
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