PhilosYphia

Since shortly after birth, our son Keston has had a recurring skin issue. They are patches of rashes that appear on his skin, sometimes slowly and sometimes very quickly, but equally itchy. They are bad enough at times that all he can do while awake is to itch (which tears up his skin due to his razor-sharp fingernails). It also wakes him up several times a night because he’s uncomfortable and he thrashes around and itches for awhile before going back to sleep, usually with the aid of a bottle from us. This means that we’re still, at 5.5 months, getting up every hour or two to handle him.

It was originally diagnosed as eczema, but was elevated to an, “I don’t know,” status by the head dermatologist at the Forest Park Clinic in Mason City and we were referred up to pediatric dermatologist Dr. Jennifer Hand at the Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN, to find out exactly what it was, perhaps why it occurred, and what to do about it. So yesterday I took a day off work and we made the 2 hour drive (and tank of $3.60/gallon gas) up to submit Keston to some poking and prodding and hopefully find some answers to his issues.

The trip was essentially worthless and utterly frustrating. The head dermatologist in Mason is convinced it is *not* eczema, yet once we got up there, the Dr. Hand gave him a brief glance and was like, “It’s just eczema. He looks great. What’s the problem?” Which is nice — he was having one of his good days, rare though they be — but it doesn’t give us many solutions for the nighttime itching and his outburst of rashes from seemingly nothing. Also, wouldn’t you do more if the head of the dermatology clinic in Mason doesn’t even know what the hell it is???

Sigh.

Of course, it started off badly — we were about 5 minutes late so we were rushing, driving through Rochester in the pissing rain, trying to find the parking garage, but that was no problem — we got there and checked in fine. However, when I checked in, the receptionist said, “Oh, is that paperwork for the doctor?” indicating the referral letter and the sheet of all Keston’s prescriptions and diet. I confirmed that it was, and she said, “Oh, ok, I’ll take that and make sure she gets it.” I thought that was nice, so we settled down into the very pretty and subtlety-lit waiting room.

But when it came time to see the doctor, we asked if she had seen the paperwork and she’s like, “No, what paperwork?” She sent the nurse after it, but the receptionist had run off to lunch and the nurse just came back and shrugged her shoulders. The doctor seemed unfazed by this and although we said we could wait for them to find the papers, she just said to continue on, she knew what it was and didn’t need to see the referral (which, in that letter, the doctor in Mason explains why he thought it *wasn’t* eczema). So we had to explain what was going on from memory, his entire history and meds/foods/etc. even though we had written it all down already (my wife has been extremely organized with it all, bless her).

So she weighed him (22lbs now, good thing we got the new car seat today) and briefly examined him and then she pulled out a sheet of suggestions for handling eczema and listed everything off, but we’re already doing everything on the sheet so she was like, “Oh, well, you’re doing good then. Carry on.” We did get another different antihistamine to try at night and yet another OTC skin cream but that’s about it. She said that Keston is nothing compared to some of the kids she sees whose eczema is so bad that they stop growing and get sepsis and staph infections. Which is nice enough to know that we’re not an extreme case, but we still feel like the poor sod shouldn’t have to wake up every hour or two at night itching and tearing up his skin.

So we left feeling very much like we had just completely wasted a tank of gas and an office copay. We went off and did some mild shopping and poking around Rochester, stopped to get supper at TGI Friday’s, decided we didn’t like the look and prices on the menu, and instead ended up at Famous Dave’s. As we did I kept getting madder and madder about the situation and now I’m really pissed about it. So I don’t know what to do at this point, but I think we got fucked and someone’s going to hear about it.

I mean…if we’re doing all we can for Keston and there’s nothing up with him but the eczema and so forth, fine. I can deal with that and we’ll keep on doing what we’re doing to control it. (She said most kids grow out of it by 1 years, but then they usually get asthma…joy.) But if it isn’t, I’m going to feel really bad that we were blown off and, at the time, I didn’t have the balls to tell the doctor she was being a daffy bitch (and or hunt down the stupid bint of a secretary and give her what-for for losing our goddamned paperwork).

Sometimes I envy Type A’s ability to speak up at the moment, whereas I always think about what I *should* have said at the time and then kick myself later. Hindsight…GAH!

For those of us around the Midwest, Mayo is touted as being one of the premier health care centres around, garnering the business of presidents and international dignitaries and handling thousands of cases a year. While I realize that my son’s skin problems are probably small potatoes in the the large scheme of things, don’t we deserve a fair whack at the resources as well, especially if we’ve been explicitly referred there?

This is NOT a New Year’s Resolution.

I hate NY resolutions. You all know that.

The only reason I’m going to lose weight and get healthier again is because it’s the right thing to do. I’m 30 after all, time to quit fucking around and get down to business. Time to get rid of the gut, or at least reduce it to a mild amusement instead of a place where BBQ sauce stops. Time to feel better, fit into clothes that actually look good, and to get myself to a point where I can last at least another few decades if not a half century. My wife and son deserve a husband and a father who will be around for a long time yet. I never really thought about it till I had a son, but now I’m deeply frightened by the idea of my son not having me around. Is that my ego speaking?

The nice thing is that I have awesome motivation this time around — and that makes it sound like I’ve been around a lot, which I have, who hasn’t? — as the YMCA in Charles City is holding a “biggest loser” contest from now till the 17th of March and I joined a team of four men (my boss included) to compete in it. We’re up against one other team at CBM so there’s already a lot of goading going on and so forth.

To track my results I’m using the PC version of FitDay — FitDay.com is an online calorie tracking site that you can use for free, but they also offer a downloadable program for $20 that is supposed to be better. So the other day I ordered it, and it was definitely worth the money. Not only can you do all the functionality of the online program (counting calories) but you can track measurements (weight, sizes, etc), other nutrients, exercise, and a slew of other options as well as generating some pretty reports, graphs, and so forth for your amusement. Well worth the dough.

I weighed in at the YMCA at 289 pounds and my own scale shows 275 (yes, it’s not accurate, but at least it’s consistent). I’m looking to try to lose 3 to 3.5 pounds/week or so in the 11 or so weeks I have to do this program, but then to continue onwards after. Ultimately, the only promise and requirement I’ve made to myself is that whatever I gain I’m not allowed to gain it back. Anything else is free game — if I plateau, if I fall off the bandwagon of exercise, whatever — as long as I’m not gaining it back, I’m allowed a few slip-ups. But gaining it back means I’m falling back into the hole and I just can’t let that happen again.

So far in two days I’ve come below my calorie restriction for both times — I’m allowed 2,312 a day and I’ve hit 1,680 and 2,071. Both days I’ve done 30 minutes on the treadmill followed by lifting 15lb dumbbells (have there ever been smartbells?) in various ways and crunches, which I absolutely suck at. (13 at a time, folks — that’s my big accomplishment) All during this I’m listening to my new MP3 player (Samsung Sansa 2GB) which helps so much, I’m curious how I did it before without music. My plan right now is to do treadmill Mon-Fri for 30 minutes, weights after are optional on Tue/Thu, and the weekend I have to work out, but can be flexible as to what I end up doing because I hate getting bored. I might transition into Tae-Bo once I get my stamina back, we’ll have to see.

I’m not about to start talking about this a lot on here but I did want to write about it this time because writing it in a public forum makes it more “real” and if it holds me more accountable, so be it.

I have to be healthy and stick around — I’m my best source of amusement.