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Memorable Decisions


Memories keep flooding
I cannot stop their downpour
into my face they rumble
playing the advocate

And I am a captive
forced to watch the macabre parade
as they struggle along
in full sound and color

Nothing can fool them
They are but reality
recalled for enjoyment
but presented as horror

The tide creeps up
my knees bend down
the barriers break
the gong resounds

How she in her beauty
and I in my naiveté
fell forward in love
and feelings of ecstasy

The joy was so wonderful
the feelings complete
that this my reality
can never compete

To that joy unbidden
did flow from her heart
and presence was everything
and never apart

I scream and I cry
pounding on somewhere
other than why
where only I know how

For only I who knew
can procure the other hue
of the life which I endure
and force my fun out of this world

Despair sets in
I cry out again
and see her once more
a hundredfold score

And yet in the morrow
I see yet another
Beautiful is she
and waiting for me

Yet also for two
must wait she and still
cannot decide in haste
or love she might waste

Her fears come unholding
and control her belonging
and twist down the pillars
of joy love and peace

Should I or shouldn't I
plagues me night and day
for removal things I
may bring light to her day

And yet I must think
that I it can bring
and give her the stars
upon a silver platter

So there sits my mind
between pain love and sublime
where no one can decide
but I.

-- August 3, 1997
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