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Kickass Phone Rates from 3U
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A story was written on the popular geek news website Slashdot about a breed of wasp that carries a parasite that can "encrypt" its sperm. The article is located here. I was inspired by the article to produce the WASP RFC which I display here because I think it's decent. To be Numbered A Standard for the Transmission of Encrypted IP Datagrams on WASP Status of this Memo This memo describes an experimental method for the encapsulation of IP datagrams on WASP (Wide-Area Sperm Protocol). This specification is primarily useful wooded areas. This is an experimental, not recommended standard. Distribution of this memo is unlimited. Overview and Rational WASP transmissions offer encryption with the complexity of DNA encoding with the convenience of naturally-occuring encoding methods via reproductive methods. The connection topology is limited to any vessel which may carry the encrypted datagrams; however, encryption and decryption of the data must be done within the confines of the reproductive genitalia of a WASP carrier. Thusly, the throughput of data is limited to the ability of the WASP to make the necessary connections with other WASPs during the transmission interval. Note that high-bandwidth transmissions are not recommended, as the carrier may die from repeated use and packets will be lost. Frame Format The IP datagram is submitted in the form of a complex protein strand which the WASP ingests. This is then translated into a DNA fragment in the SM (Sperm Module) and encrypted by the bacterial cultures within the host carrier. Transmission may then commence. During transmission, various system messages may be transmitted via broadcast datagrams. Some of these possible messages are: "0100: SYSTEM: HONEY HAVE YOU COME YET?" "0233: SYSTEM: WATCH WHERE YOU'RE POKING THAT THING!" "0355: /dev/penile0: Device not responding" "0556: module 'p0rn' not found: Unable to continue" Upon transmission to the receiving host, the datagram is decrypted using similar methods and produces the requested result. Discussion Transmission quality of service (QoS) is dependent upon the level of low-lighting and available singular-typed WASP carriers. High transmission rates are most often found in alleys behind popular adult establishments and in dorm rooms of universities. Security Considerations Security is guaranteed by the complex encoding system; however, precautions should be made to keep such transmissions away from RAID devices, as this could cause premature data loss. Other outside influences, such as TROJAN viruses, may keep the data from reaching its intended recipient. |
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